Friday, January 8, 2010

Area Favorite Son gets flat tire, Sues Town

Local boy wonder, war hero, and deli owner Hugh "Bugsy" Pitchford reportedly drove over a pothole on his way to work on Thursday evening that caused a flat tire. Mr. Pitchford has been in Vinland newspapers ever since he was 5 when he introduced the idea of peanut butter as a bubblegum-in-hair solvent to the town. His fame rose from there and in 1994 became the first man in Vinland to visit Boise, ID. The town celebrated his return from Boise with a traditional Vinlandian potluck luncheon at the Civic Center with over 30 attendees. Thursday marks one of the most unprecedented events in Vinland's short history as "Bugsy" Pitchford filed claim against Vinland for causing his flat.

"It's not a question of severity, but more a question of principle," said Pitchford when asked why he would pursue a lawsuit over something so miniscule as a flat tire.

"I've used the traditional channels before to present city-wide issues, but have only seen mild success. As a local celebrity, I don't believe I should be driving on streets with potholes. I mean, I've been to Boise freaking Idaho folks! Do you have any idea who my father is?" exclaimed Busgy.

Blaine Pitchford, Bugsy's father, works at the town library where he maintains the card catalog for International magazines. It is unknown why Bugsy made reference to the notoriety of his father.

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